Only days have passed, but 

we know it had been hiding in plain sight for months

While things have slipped out of my hands,

beyond my control,

I spend too many moments wishing I could snatch it all back

It feels like chasing a rainbow,

the beauty right there in front of me, but as I move closer,

it runs farther away in the distance

Why do some of the most wonderful things in the world have to disappear?

Why do things that are so good have to change as if they were bad? 

I try to let gratitude flood over me for all the good that I still have

I try to let these things be my mantra, but

sometimes I feel locked up in time

I want to look forward, 

I want to look ahead and

it is not about ability, 

but just that I do not want to...

While I feel betrayed and forgotten,

I feel patient and understanding

While I feel hatred and frustration,

I feel kindness and love

Things are different this time around,

I do not hate myself for what happened

I know my worth, beauty, and capability

In the past,

it felt like the world was gone,

but now, instead, the world just feels out of place

Everything feels upside down now

and I can not seem to hold it upright

People come and go in our lives, 

some leaving deeper marks than others, but

what if someone was not done making them yet? 

What if those marks were meant to go deeper yet, 

they slip away otherwise? 

It all feels so incomplete and unfair,

and all these feelings I sit with day in and day out,

 I try to run away from it all

But some days, 

I try to sit with it and let it wash over me because...

you can not always run,

you can not always hide,

you have to let all that discomfort

fill you up and feel it through all your bones,

Let it shake you, 

let it rip you apart,

let it all out

But, let never let that discomfort stay

Pick yourself up because in the end,

you can count on nobody else but yourself

They may have finished making their mark and moved on,

but maybe they have not...

Either way, 

Do not run away from the hurt or chaos,

Feel it fully, but 

once it has finished its' duty,

transform it and vibrate that energy out into the world so much that,

Others will see it beaming off of you.