Only days have passed, but
we know it had been hiding in plain sight for months
While things have slipped out of my hands,
beyond my control,
I spend too many moments wishing I could snatch it all back
It feels like chasing a rainbow,
the beauty right there in front of me, but as I move closer,
it runs farther away in the distance
Why do some of the most wonderful things in the world have to disappear?
Why do things that are so good have to change as if they were bad?
I try to let gratitude flood over me for all the good that I still have
I try to let these things be my mantra, but
sometimes I feel locked up in time
I want to look forward,
I want to look ahead and
it is not about ability,
but just that I do not want to...
While I feel betrayed and forgotten,
I feel patient and understanding
While I feel hatred and frustration,
I feel kindness and love
Things are different this time around,
I do not hate myself for what happened
I know my worth, beauty, and capability
In the past,
it felt like the world was gone,
but now, instead, the world just feels out of place
Everything feels upside down now
and I can not seem to hold it upright
People come and go in our lives,
some leaving deeper marks than others, but
what if someone was not done making them yet?
What if those marks were meant to go deeper yet,
they slip away otherwise?
It all feels so incomplete and unfair,
and all these feelings I sit with day in and day out,
I try to run away from it all
But some days,
I try to sit with it and let it wash over me because...
you can not always run,
you can not always hide,
you have to let all that discomfort
fill you up and feel it through all your bones,
Let it shake you,
let it rip you apart,
let it all out
But, let never let that discomfort stay
Pick yourself up because in the end,
you can count on nobody else but yourself
They may have finished making their mark and moved on,
but maybe they have not...
Do not run away from the hurt or chaos,
Feel it fully, but
once it has finished its' duty,
transform it and vibrate that energy out into the world so much that,
Others will see it beaming off of you.